Can you tell I am a bit stressed out about Christmas and it is still/only 12 days away?!
I find myself angry, upset, even crying! Yes, today I actually weeped so hard I cried myself to sleep and missed the whole first half of the Vikings game. What is going on here?! Christmas.
Christmas this year seems to be more of a 4 letter word than the joyous occasion of Christ’s birth. I officially envy all those people that don’t do gifts on Christmas. As the time ticks down, I find myself angry and yelling at my children constantly. Why?! Because I am already stressed out about all the crap they are going to start bringing into my house that they won’t clean up.
My basement looks like a bomb went off everyday and everyday I ask the children to clean it up and everyday they whine and pout and stomp off or cry. So everyday I get angry, I scream, I yell and nothing gets cleaned up. Or, if I do pick it all up, they come down, pull everything out and play with it all and not 2 days later you can’t even tell I have cleaned up.
I can’t tell you how many times I have told them over the 8 years we have lived here, NO FOOD IN THE BASEMENT! Yet, every time I go down there, there are food wrappers, bowls, silverware, glasses thrown into the corner between the 2 couches. We have this great square cube that I bought last year to store all of the Wii games and remotes in it PLUS, the TV/VCR remotes. There is NOTHING in that thing and the top is thrown across the room.
I have a really nice bookshelf for movies and DVD’s, nothing is in its case, the movies/DVD’s are strewn all over the floor down there. We have a great IKEA shelving unit with doors to and each child has their own entire unit to themselves. They are mostly empty as the toys are all over the floor. The baby can’t play in the basement without tripping over something, especially the laundry pile at the bottom of the basement steps. Why? Well, because some f-ing genius put the laundry chute in the hall in the basement and made a laundry room the size of a small closet. Then, my darling children have decided it is just SO much fun to play in the laundry pile and throw it all over. OR my favorite thing is when they don’t want to put away their folded laundry and they just throw it back on top of the dirty pile and I don’t notice it until I am sorting laundry and realize half of the stuff I just threw in the washer was clean!
Also, you add that my darling husband has his closet and bathroom down there and he very similar to my children can’t seem to understand cleaning up or putting things away as I often find his clothes from the day before strewn over various couches and chairs throughout the house. Not to mention his numerous jackets he hangs on the banister at the top of the stairs so, it makes it not only impossible not to step on them when trying to go down the basement stairs but, you can’t grab onto the banister and it makes very scary when my baby is climbing up and down those stairs over coats.
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Yes, I am frustrated, I am stressed out and I am overwhelmed by Christmas already. I DO NOT want my children to get any more gifts! I could care less if they ever had anything new again. They are selfish and refuse to help me in anyway around the house. I would give my children the world if only they would help me clean the house just once in a while! Money doesn’t work, they could care less about allowances because we have this stupid thing in our house that they shouldn’t have to earn things, they are children. BS!
Listen, I am stressed, I am NOT thinking nice, warm and fluffy thought about Christmas. I an NOT thinking joyfully about the birth of Jesus and I do NOT have sugarplums dancing in my head! My house is messy, disorganized, bursting at the seams with crap and I am sick of it! I am busy too people! Yes, I know I don’t work, I know it is MY job to organize the schedules, to cook all the meals, to clean all the clothes, to do ALL the Christmas shopping, to volunteer at the schools, to make sure the children are in sports, to buy all the birthday party gifts, to bake all the cookies and snacks, and to make sure everyone is happy and healthy. I get that. That IS my job but, sometimes, my job, my schedule and my life gets TOO hectic and I get overwhelmed and it would be nice if my family could see that happening or take some of the load off sometimes.
Granted, I totally suck at being Martha Stewart, listen, I am not even Rachel Ray! But, crap, I try, I really do. Maybe I try too hard at somethings and not the right things? I know my husband wants me to make HOT appetizers for parties, especially hot dips. But, honey, I SUCK at making those things! Especially dips! I can make so many other good apps. Isn’t that enough? Can’t we start focusing on what I am good at instead of trying to get me to do more!
I will never be an ironer, I will never be a seamstress, I can’t make homemade stockings, I don’t know how to knit more than a scarf and a hat, I don’t know how to make a good artichoke, crab or spinach dip. I just don’t.
My girls won’t wear bows in there hair no matter how much I try, my son won’t wear a tie, and my husband doesn’t wear socks(actually none of us do, sorting socks is exhausting to me!). I will never have gleaming floors, clean windows, or dustless blinds and ceiling fans. My dogs will always smell and my cats will always need to be brushed.
But, my children are healthy, my children are fed well, I am a great cook, I can bake pretty well too. I adore watching my children involved in sports and activities and very rarely miss ANYTHING they are in. I will ALWAYS cry when I see them on stage or when they score a goal because I am so happy for them! I try to make sure their teachers have gifts, their friends have gifts and they have all the jeans, hats, and whatever else they need for their plays, recitals, and shows.
I may freak out every once in a while but, I will always love my family and they will always come first. I just want a LITTLE in return once in a while. Just a little appreciation for the stuff I DO do around the house. I don’t always want the focus to be on what I don’t do, what you don’t have, what I don’t have, and what I/you want.
Life is so much more than this, it has to be. Christmas is about the birth of our Saviour nothing else. Next year, I pray it will be different, I pray there will be less gifts, less running around, less selfishness. I know with 4 children ages 18 months, 6, 7, and 8 it is hard but, someday, some year I KNOW it will all pay off. I know this, it is the ONLY way I can keep going some days.
So, as I sit here feeling so much better for just getting all of that off my chest, don’t live your Christmas like me this year! Relax, take a breath, breathe it all in and smell the smells, hear the sounds, and see the lights. Remember the reason for this time of year as truly it really is only all about Jesus and we all need to get back to that.