Making Marriage Work

In my previous post about our Anniversary Getaway, I talked about the importance of being intentional in marriage. Being intentional could include going on a date night, sharing a favorite hobby, or going on a getaway. However, it is not limited to those things. What is important, is the fact that you can participate in something that allows you both to feel connected.

For some couples being intentional is common practice and they do so effortlessly. For other couples, life is so busy, it may be hard to come up with ideas on how to connect with each other. Then, there are the couples who just need something new to change up the flow and revive their marriage. No two marriages are identical and they all require different things. What works for us may not work for you, and vice versa. Therefore, I thought it would be helpful to bring ideas from a diverse group of married couples. This is just a small group of the many couples I respect and admire. I am so blessed and grateful that these family and friends were willing to be open and share with you all!

These couples share a total of 226 years of marriage experience and wisdom; ranging from 5 years to 62 years! I hope this list of practical and honest tips will bring some inspiration to your marriage! Be inspired to be intentional!

If you’re Engaged or thinking about getting married- this will also be helpful for you! Read and digest now, so that you have some knowledge in your back pocket, to get your marriage started off strong.

Marriage Tips from the Couples:

Ed & Mildred, 62 years

“We pray together every night. We can bring anything that is on our hearts to the Lord. Even if I’m still wrapping up from the day, he will start and then I will join him. When we feel like things are going down, we get together to talk and take notes about what is going wrong and how each person can do better to change it.”

The Stewart’s, 33 years

“Our favorite thing to do is, periodically take inventory of our relationship/marriage. Secondly, relaxing and cuddle. Last but not least, calling and or text love messages to each other throughout the day.”

 Pastors James & Venshelle, 24 years

“Communication is definitely high on our list, if it’s just checking in for the day or giving an encouraging Word for a challenging day. Spending quality time is another one we cling to, even if it’s taking a drive at 2 a.m.! Being yourself with your Spouse is key, we’re like beast friends! We laugh at each others’ jokes and play off of each other soooo bad! And one last key is prayer. Prayer is how we build and cover one another, it’s the foundation of our marriage and is the reason we’ve persevered this long.”

Alonzo &Tomeka, 22 years

“I leave home about the time Alonzo wakes. By the time I make it to drop off my son, he is dropping off my daughter to school. I call him every morning and we chat for about 15 mins. We have our power chat and it really is “our time”. It’s like a telephonic speed date every morning!”

Darryl & Esther, 21 years

“We are intentional in our marriage everyday by making it a priority to relax, unwind and reconnect. On Mondays we cuddle up to a good Lifetime movie with DQ Blizzards, or we’ll lay in the bed on a Saturday morning just to share and listen to each other’s thoughts. Our newest hobby is Sunday evening gardening.”

The Blaise’s, 17 years

“Never ever throw your Spouse under the bus, and never fight or argue in front of others! Show yourselves to the world as a unified couple. Let the argument wait until you’re back home behind closed doors, where you can discuss it without embarrassing the one you love! Unexpectedly text something spicy to your Spouse every once in a while. Not sexy photos- just words! LOL You never know who’s gonna see it (wink).”

Sherman & Cristina, 10 years

“We go through Christian books about Marriage before bed. We do a chapter, reflect and pray together. This has helped a ton. To get wisdom not only from the Bible but those who have paved the way before us. Right now we are reading the Love Busters. Also, lots of sex! Nothing better than to serve each other in that way. Many Christians neglect this one act and it devastates their marriages and sense of intimacy and closeness.”

Ray & Gwen, 9 years

“There are two main things we do to stay connected with four kids, 8 years old and under: have sex and pray together- not normally at the same time (wink). With kids this takes flexibility and forward thinking. And both require a similar reminder that even though it feels like another demand, that if you yield, you remember, ‘I like this! I need this!’”

Bev & Trina, 8 years

“Build on the THINGS that make you both happy together. That thing that when you’re upset at each other (like my wife and I was this weekend), that thing can bring you back together. Let’s hope it’s more than sex cause one day that will go!!! Eg: Cooking together, traveling, watching movies, riding motorcycles (my wife refuse to ride)…LOL!”

The Kirk’s, 8 years

“We totally embrace the ministry of intimacy and see to it that we operate fully in the blessings of this type of intimacy that God created ONLY for the marriage bed. Treating sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy and mental intimacy as if it is optional or being inconsistent in this area in your marriage, is directly forsaking the distinct plan of God.”

Donald & Abby, 7 years

“We download podcasts, music and audio books to our separate smart phones and talk about them. This keeps us mentally stimulating one another. Also, he makes me breakfast in bed 6/7 days of the week and we talk about the day, our future, or lessons from the past etc.”

Jared & Abigail, 5 years

“Biggest thing is communication. It can be so easy to become independent machines when little ones arrive, just trying to survive and keep the little ones alive LOL! So taking time to talk and say when things are wrong. Praying about how to talk is also key. Knowing how to say it, so every time something comes up it doesn’t start a huge fight, is so important. Everything isn’t a true issue, sometimes it’s just a little irritant and knowing how to express the difference will lead to better conversations and peace in the home.”

I’m sure that you may have found at least one couple to relate to, and or one new intentional activity that you can try within your own marriage. Make some time for pillow talk and see if you and your spouse can come up with your own tip to share. Hope you were inspired to be more intentional within your marriage. Cheers to a stronger and happier married life!

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